youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
