i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
