Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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