i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
