Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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