Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize