she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Your penis caused this!
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
