Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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