I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
do nipples grow back?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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