we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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