No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
