I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
