Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
