If that was your dad, he is hot
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
There are leaves in my underwear?
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