his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
