No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
