I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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