Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
