He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
