I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
