You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
