Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
