i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I intend to get homeless drunk
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
