Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
At least make sure they are 18
Why
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
