i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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