But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
