idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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