his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
