Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
