weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
