its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
