my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
