1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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