you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
