That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
