I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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