I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
