i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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