what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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