I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
