i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
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