I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
