can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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