She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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