you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
