You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
