Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I got her a Nickelback box set.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
