he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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