eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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