i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
