I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize