Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
