in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
