they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
