1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize