Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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