i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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