The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize