Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
