Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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