he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
