We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
