Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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