I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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