you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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