I'm eating all of the evidence.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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