so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
