Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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