The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
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he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
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