Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
